The Autumn of My Spring

Suspended Bullshit

2012-02-02T03:26:00.000-08:00

In 1996 our hard fought constitution came into effect as the architects and shapers of it finally held it up ceremonially as Rafiki did Simba at his birth in the Lion King. Many cheered with eyes glazed in tears at what this was to symbolise. All the ideals of Liberty, Justice, Inclusivity, Equality, Non Discrimination, basic and fundamental human rights guaranteed to all constituents of our democratic Republic.

So when it is announced that the perpetrators of a heinous hate crime, specifically the brutal killing a young woman on the grounds of her sexual orientation received suspended sentences not tantamount to the crime, you have to do more than just raise an eyebrow. Ironically the sentence was greeted by massive jubilation by those who had attended the case proceedings and sentencing, the Lesbian and Gay organisation pronounced their satisfaction at the paltry 18 year with 4 years suspended sentence of the perpetrators who were not only found to be remorseless but also beyond rehabilitation. Which begs the question “What do you suppose will happen when they are released on serving their suspended sentence?”.

Let’s take a look at what it is that we are celebrating here. We are in celebration of a justice system that has not only let down the deceased young lady but also all the other deceased and violated constituents of our great democratic Republic, the rights of whom are enshrined and guaranteed in section 9 and 10 of our most inclusive constitution. We are celebrating that the horrific hate crimes against our gay and lesbian constituents do not deserve as stringent and strict application of the punitive measures that would be applicable to all other constituents in our constitution. In essence we are celebrating a triumph by the Justice system in the trivialisation of a young person’s life.

I cannot even begin to imagine the excruciating torture that our deceased young lady would have endured at the hands of her four inhumane murderers. The arduous moments of wracking her brain as to why this was happening and what she could possibly have done to deserve such brutal punishment. I can never imagine or understand the pain and drain of hope she felt when it dawned on her with sickening certainty that she was not going to make it out of the acerbic event alive. She would never make it home to her loved ones or enjoy the simple pleasure of feeling the sunlight on her skin and looking at a clear blue sky. She was violently robbed of that by her repugnant and remorseless murderers who today still enjoy the most basic right of breathing having stolen 19 year old Zoliswa Nkonyana’s right to breath.

My stomache turns at this judgement and my heart weeps for you Zoliswa and all the other nameless and faceless victims in this the hour of the 15th Anniversary of our Constitution.

Morning

2012-01-26T04:50:00.000-08:00

When you wake up in the morning do you wish your sleepy morning self good morning and ask your self how you are feeling that morning? Why not? Everyone else asks. So why not you, to and for, yourself? Show your self some interest and give your self more than the once over in the bathroom mirror as you brush your teeth with one eye open and the other still fighting for the realisation of pouty slumber, where boundaries, reason and confinement do not exist save for a moment’s indulgence as the day reluctantly begins.

Open Eye wins that battle hands down every day being the logical, grounded twin, “someone has to make sure you get to work and make sure we don’t end up with a crusty board in your hands declaring our misfortune!”. Groggy Eye, once sufficiently shamed and admonished, comes to the party pouty, yet determined to at least make this being awake thing less of a yawn fest but rather a working compromise. Groggy, all knowing and relishing what is to certainly follow, darts around the closet expertly picking out items that won’t necessarily save time but will make sure that dragging yourself out of bed isn’t too crushing. She has the time her LIFE…and so does Open albeit grudgingly! A right formidable pair the two make as they busily set about casting trained yet cursory glances at the contents of the over flowing closet. “Accessories are indeed our delicious vice” they think unapologetically to themselves. No such thing as too many, one never knows when the next scarf (the latest obsession), earring, belt or necklace emergency will occur. After all, no one wants to find themselves without the perfect accessory to catapult an outfit from cool to EPIC!
And with that, the day begins; on the right side of favourable and above pleasant!

Sound familiar? NO? Well maybe it’s just me then…

Ad Infinitum

2012-01-20T06:49:00.000-08:00

Curious little feather light embrace of a whisper quite possibly fleeting but entrancingly wistful, powerful and gentle and flooding with light…

Dancing a merry dance of enchanting joy and abandon, promising wordless breaths and exquisite revelations adoringly pure, effortless, raw…scorching…

Sprigs of dizzying candescence and drenching, dark want spout ad infinitum…

Bheki Cele’s sacrifical offering

2011-08-03T06:21:00.000-07:00

When did it become common place and not worthy of being up in arms for the Police to brutalise at will those they are meant to serve and protect? I can’t seem to recall the decree that declared the South African Police the right to violently assault a young black man walking home after a night out with friends. If someone can pinpoint the exact moment the South African populace as well as law enforcement decided that our normal state of existence is when the police harass, mistreat and violate the public I would be much obliged.

My 23 year old brother has been harassed and assaulted by the Cape Town Police services more times than I care to remember and each time the charge? Being black, walking in the streets at night and knowing his rights. It is frustrating and angering and to a certain extent disempowering to have to live with the reality that every time he is out with his friends he may never make it home. Not for fear of being pillaged or murdered by criminals but because well, according to Cape Town law enforcement, a young black man has no business being out in the streets after dark, who knows what he will do?

Now I am not one to draw lines in the sand on the basis of colour, not only because I wasn’t raised that way, but because to me it is as nonsensical a notion as being picked up and assaulted by the police on a charge of ‘walking home drunk from a night out with friends’. If it were, that the concern of being out in public while intoxicated were a valid one, would it then not follow, again according to the serve and protect stipulation, that our valiant men in blue would then escort you to a place of safety? A place like, I don’t know, and I’m taking a stab in the dark here; home? That to me would seem the logical end. Where the assault and using taser guns on a 23yr old not being a drunken nuisance but simply seeking the safety of his home would be justified, baffles my admittedly porous brain.

So I would like to say with great certainty to the South African Police, you are wrong and inevitably the justice that is guaranteed in our country’s constitution will prevail above your abuse of power and ill treatment of mine and everyone else’s brother, mother, father and children. The South African populace is reaching a frustration point of your making and is no longer a passive and ignorant community. Please be assured that your acts of violence and abuse are not going unnoticed, neither will they not be acted upon as you have come to now rely on. Silence is no longer the order of the day and you will be held accountable before the law you violate, this I know to be true.

Of the female affinity....

2011-06-23T07:56:00.000-07:00

This is not one of those rousing and trumpeting pieces about the beauty and power of woman, that's what this is not.
It is not about the strength of the gentle and nurturing female touch or about how the melodic and lyrical words treacle like toffee out of the mouths of those of the female persuasion.

It begins from the time she walks down her street E-V-E-R-Y morning and endures the lecherous stares as they undress her with their eyes at 7am on any given morning.

It continues, as head held high and fighting eye contact at every turn, the bold ones call out 'hello baby' 'kunjani sweetie' 'mina ngihamba nawe standwa'.

Still she fights the eye contact and the impulse to lurch out and punch and kick and scream and demand her respect not be challenged or her dignity degraded. But that is an inward and silent battle which only she participates in, witnesses and tells the daily story which takes on a mime like quality in the reaches of her mind.

She finally breathes an inward sigh of relief as she reaches the gates that take her to a place of temporary respite before 5pm strikes and she feels her body tense and the invisible armour go up as she steels herself for the second part of this sickening and involuntary dance.

Empowered within the gates becomes disempowered outside of the gates, outside it means nothing that she is a respected member of her peer group, a role model to her children or a contributing member of society of high moral principle.

She is just tits, legs and ass that quietly rages, inwardly kicking, biting, screaming, scratching and clawing for her right to freely and unapologetically be...of the Female Affinity.

will you call me? No! Are you sure?

2011-05-06T13:31:00.000-07:00

Ashton Kutcher and Anne Hache together,what,really?! I bet you never would've thunk it,i didn't either! Although they both have have crazy 'i could do anything and you'd be cool with it' energy. Although when you think abt it,why not really? They are actors just like anyone else,it's their job to constantly reinvent themselves and challenge their audience. Although a thought springs to mind about these 2- they both need each other to remain in the game,in the running and at the forefront of your HOLLYWOOD thoughts... Tis the way of the world- explore,fight,challenge,accept or register your righteous indignation at will... "...damn you Van Halen.."

The Triplets of Belville dance routine

2011-05-05T07:14:00.000-07:00

One of my all time favourite dance routines to one of my all time favourite theatre of the macabre animated movies.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t_cWs2W1oAw

I can't make you like me...

2011-01-12T03:16:00.000-08:00

And that's ok
It never used to be but time has taught me that it is
It's deafening whispers have soothed my ear drums and assuaged my thirst for acceptance
I know now that acceptance has no home here, no welcome mat rises up to greet him here
And that's ok
Time was that the battle seemed a worthy one,time is that the battle no longer has a home here
And that's ok
Perhaps the winds have taken what never was, and immutabley left what always was
And that's ok
I can't make make you like me...And i don't want to
...And that's ok

PEACE & LOVE

Circular

2010-11-16T21:34:00.000-08:00

Circular thought motion is me
Makes me happier makes my mind smile and my neurons high five each other with the freedom of the circular thought!
Some of the best times I've had were in the navigation of foggy maze circles so thick and so deep they threatened to never let me surface again!

When I smile it's not only with my heart or the fibre of my composition, but with the jubilant neurons shouting"Yeah BOYY!!" and my mind contentedly saying "Well there you go young lady, it's your moment in the light! Inhale the sunshine through your eyes and your pores and be the sunshine of more circular thought motion in the galaxy, you dig?" and i say "Oh yeah...i dig!!"

PEACE & LOVE

Love, Love this song by Red Hot Chilli Peppers- shout out to Phumi!

2010-10-22T05:22:00.000-07:00

Porcelain
Are you wasting away in your skin
Are you missing the love of your kin
Drifting and floating and fading away

Porcelain
Do you smell like a girl when you smile
Can you bear not to share with your child
Drifting and floating and fading away

Little lune
All day
Little lune

Porcelain
Do you carry the moon in your womb
Someone said that you're fading too soon
Drifting and floating and fading away

Porcelain
Are you wasting away in your skin
Are you missing the love of your kin
Nodding and melting and fading away

Little lune
All day
Little lune...

Working processes of my fibre

2010-09-20T01:45:00.000-07:00

Wide open spaces,wistful stares into the immediately infinite cosmos
Brain whistling if only i didn't have the head attached to me i'd blow this joint
to a place only those with wistful stares would know fully, gutturally
and with an intimate sense of immersion so deep and saturating,
their brains become all wrinkled and pruney with giddy abandon heavy and sticky
and feather light in its embracing tune eternal

Well...

2010-07-28T23:55:00.000-07:00

Are you a Yes or No? Well, I don’t know that I am either to be honest, a bit of a free radical I think and it is the unfortunate or good fortune that being a free radical leads to a restless and indeterminate life. I don’t know that it is a life of freedom or a life spent as a slave to the state of maintaining the radical nature.

However this would throw a bit of murk into the concept of freedom and self determination wouldn’t it? If life is spent in the realisation of your lot in life conventional, un or a collision of both…

If it can be explained or classified ie. Yes/ No/ free radical… It has existed before you, will continue to exist after you and although perhaps the phrasing may alter, will still persist in its existence and strive to be what it is, what its realisors will come to know it to be and ultimately slave away their lives towards…

Does it then not stand to reason that perfect clear cut halves do not exist but instead the more plausible possibility of thirds governed as two opposing sides of a spectrum with the cross section a joyfully combative and explosively liberating collision of the opposite ends of the spectrum? The mere existence of order necessitates the existence of anarchy, the collision of which becomes…..a free radical

Lemon sucking it is….

IN

2010-05-20T04:58:00.000-07:00

To breathe would not nearly be enough, to feed the soul merely an empty account of a state of existence that defies the laws of nature and tests the boundaries of creation in unfettered imaginings of a dimension of galactic fraction.

Each piece inhabiting this fraction jaggedly smoothe in shape fits the exact dimension of existence that the breath populates in its free whimsical form. The breath speaks to the liquid fibre that composes the fraction irreverent and gay oh what a sight to behold and a force to know.

The breath escapes regularly through the finger tips of the fraction to a dalliance of form so immutable and formidable that the soul's food is imbibed through the IV tube of existence raw,pure and white hot in urgency.

Tempered not it is an inescapable intricate dance of breath, soul, fraction, creation and galactic dimension that is not only to BE, but just...IS.

This is the source of joy for the fraction's living.

PEACE & LOVE

Sparring to live

2010-04-14T01:47:00.000-07:00

It is not often that I engage in active sparring as most often people give half- hearted non engaging arguments devoid of reasoning and blandly disinterested utterings of nothing in particular. And that is where my wonderful and reliable ability to dissociate becomes my go to guy, it's easy enough to spot half- baked half- ass arguements a mile away! Having spotted the offenders I cross the street accordingly so as not to waste precious energy and brain power on the sappers of such resources!

But once in a while, once in a while a bright little beam of sparring potential presents itself, not totally unexpected but wholly mesmerising demanding to be engaged beyond the superficial and placating, empty rhetoric ! Those are the once in a whiles that convince us of the worthiness of the sparring endeavour not adversarial by any account but probing and insatiable in the exploration of the spar.

It is a sleepy awakening of the senses previously collecting dust and cobwebs in the corners of your conciousness. Dusting off the logically constructed reasoning and carefully thought out rationality and stretching out the fabrics of linear processes seasoned with circular thought patterns of twists and turns of experience,theory and probabilities. The old engine purs obligingly and thankfully at the disturbance of the catatonic pseudo conciousness.

PEACE & LOVE

The art of life is abstract...

2010-04-05T23:58:00.000-07:00

It is an abstract creation this art of the living thing... Just when you assume that you are getting the proverbial hang of it it pulls the old switcharoo on you and right back to square one you tumble.

This means you get to get back your wonder and experience things anew batting away that all annoying complacence and ho hum boredom with all things life related and laced.

We live ourselves into intricate and delicate webs of relationships that bring us joy, intrigue, excitement and challenge us as well as the world around us to consider yet another facet of life as we don't or never dared to know before. To examine with genuine honesty the reds we thought so vivid and bold, the greens we thought so fresh and clear, the yellows we thought so unrelentingly sunshiney and without question.

So you re-acquaint yourself with the nature of life and those living life and encounter those that see through to your soul and ability to give and withold and temper and recklessly abandon yourself at will or at the slightest encouragement.

Slowly the meaningless of the intricate and delicate web break away not missed by any account, instead their vacancy fortified by the brightly souled LIVERS OF LIFE. The LIVERS OF LIFE are a motley but sout van die aarde crew, and a good natured kaleidoscope of beings. They can easily be picked out of any line up with their beaming souls and generous bashful heart grins...

(to be continued at a later time)

CONTINUED.... 09/04/2010

The LIVERS OF LIFE come in many different forms and through various worm holes of our universe and entrench themselves in our psyche,and stain their impressions on our souls. Some are humble giants that touch your heart gently with their fingers of light, quiet laughter and thundering generosity. With words that enter our pores and take up residence in our veins and gurgle gayly to our awakening selves. Today I met one of those giants and I am immeasurabley humbled...

(to be continued at a later time)

Are you really who you think you are?

2010-03-24T01:29:00.000-07:00

One of the most awesome people in my life asked me a question one Friday night and it read; Do you think some people become themselves by default, because who they would like to be has already been taken? Think about it, roll it around in your head a bit, let it marinate while pensively staring off into the distance ( classic "The Thinker" pose optional )before you blurt out your indignant answer.

While you do that, I'll let you in on our resultant back and forth discussion of examples and a cross examination of the people we turn out to be as we existentially try to navigate our way through life in our pursuit to mould and inhabit our identities.

First up was our often misunderstood brethren- the nihilists, the anti-establishment champions- GOTHS! The driving force behind this particular grouping is generally accepted as being an individual, a non-follower, doing things out of the societal norm like dressing in dark clothes, listening to death rock, multiple piercings, tattoos and edgy hairstyles as they breakdown stereotypes and challenge authority! All done, as a collective grouping of like minded people of course... (pause)

Then we have those who let the world know that they choose to rather be known as smart, funny and interesting than be judged solely on their looks. And so they set about earnestly creating this interesting, painstakingly constructed funny and much toiled over smart person that the world would seemingly rather have over supermodel lookalikes anyway! Assumed success of this, not necessarily superior, but definitely better being is follwed by an air punch and a triumphant WooHoo at the perceived victory of not subscribing to societal norms of 'beauty is better than brains'! *stage whisper*Especially since the beauty may have been unattainable anyway.... (pause 2)

It would appear that these are rather simplistic and caricatured examples but I think you may find them to be effective in provoking the title question. I often find that we of the written word affinity like to over complicate the simple things... so go ahead, fill in the dots...

PEACE & LOVE

Navel Gazing

2010-03-08T22:42:00.000-08:00

If there is one thing that grates my carrot everytime without fail, it is navel gazing! It actually is enough to coax me out of my carefully cultivated state of patience, which I might add was not easy to cultivate! As a recovering navel gazer myself I understand the tempting appeal of this endlessly entertaining but in effect, futile past time. You get to weave in and out of the facscinating realms of reality, the psyche and delusion. Dipping in breath held, sometimes for hours at a time only to emerge to the less vivid real light of day surface to discover that nope the world has not shifted on its axis since your self indulgent excursion.

If it weren't for the social graces that dictate the guidelines for making and keeping friends I would scream "snap out of it goddammit" at the navel gazer! I mean I guess to be fair, it is infinitely fascinating to psycho analyse and talk to death whatever life foible might be plaguing the gazer but honestly! Just pull yourself towards yourself and get on with it, you are not doing yourself any favours by endlessly talking about your life's tragedies and wasting miserable hour after miserable hour not only of your time but also of the unfortunate souls subjected to it!

I would like to put forward that navel gazing can actually be summed up as a passive form of narcissism. The basis of my deduction is this navel gazing by definition is 'excessive self-analysis'. Which, to me implies an obsessive concentration on the self, disguised as analysing the plagues of the human condition and more specifically YOU. Narcissism by definition is 'self- absorption and self-importance' meaning everything revolves around you and nothing is more important than...yes you guessed it YOU! Bueno? No bueno!

At the risk of commiting social suicide, I feel that my impatience at this particularly crippling affliction is completely warranted and should be fought with the greatest of fervour and now, you know too...

PEACE & LOVE

Some days...

2010-02-23T05:42:00.000-08:00

Some days are good and some not so much... They come in furious,fleeting, flurries and leave you exhilerated light hearted and optimistic about the future and possibilities of a next time. On these days you smile secretly to yourself and sometimes broadly and for all to see the radiance reflecting off those less than perfect but not crooked teeth.
You have conversations with yourself peppered with giggles and knowing mind looks and encouraging word thoughts that make the world both inside your buzzing maze-like head and outside a shiny, happy above pleasant place to be.
Questions from those outside your head are met with that dazzlingly disarming smile that many often court, yet don't always have the privelege of its audience.
Songs from the radio or television are rewarded with emphatic head bopping, up down and sideways body bounces and a toothy grin, as every vein inside you is literally coursing with sunshine and happiness intoxicatingly dizzying in its effect.

Then, at a moment's unbalanced turn in the wrong direction, at the sight of something unsettlingly crooked and a word uttered in the wrong sequence at the worst possible milli - second, the sunshiney universe becomes ominously overcast with a strong chance of torrential, mind - fuck downpours!
The dazzling smile is replaced with pursed lips and a frown furrowed by annoyance and inexplicable irritation.
The eyes become shrouded in a black cloak of bitter fury and discontent with the utter idea of the universe and all its inhabitants.
The face is marred with mirthless amusement at the sheer pointlessness of some that populate our existence and how easy it would be be to render them obsolete were it not for a powerful and merciful thing called a conscience...
These are the days, that it is the hardest to claw your murky mind away from the sinister thoughts that envelop you so snugly in their contemptuous embrace, that it seems futile to fight the good fight...

PEACE & LOVE

Back damn thoughts!

2010-02-03T23:56:00.000-08:00

They're always there, just beneath the surface, just waiting to come into the light and be thought and acknowledged and sometimes actioned...

It is a tiring battle of the wills how vehemently you insist they behave and distract yourself with other more appropriate and pleasant thoughts, good thoughts, controllable thoughts, thoughts that don't need shooshing, stern mind looks or firm admonition!

Yet still they remain jeeringly in the not so far reaches of your mind with a mind of their own really! Drinking beer, spewing filthy slurs and indulging in the most unbecoming of conduct while trying to get you to come to the party.

And then the chanting begins "give in, give in, give in,give in...." and soon your mind is ablaze with the insistent taunting from the mutinous thoughts trying to get you to give in to the sweet surrender of insanity... come on it's so much easier, no responsibility, no more epic battles of the psyche but most of all no more acerbic thoughts weighing you down.

You hold on by a thread woven from your sincerity of spirit, the resolve to live wholly, the conviction to love abundantly, the soul to give completely and the intuition to expect nothing and everything. Your veins strain against the taut skin of your hands as your knuckles turn white and threaten to rip through from the sheer exhaustion of self preservation. Then it comes, first as a tiny whispered thought trying to push its way through all the jeering, blustering thoughts all crowding together chanting your demise. But the little whisper of a thought sturdies and steels itself and musters up a resounding "Back Damn Thoughts! Back Goddammit!"

And that's how you live to see another day, so you can wake up tomorrow and start all over again...

PEACE & LOVE

Oh well...

2010-01-25T22:33:00.000-08:00

So about this caring thing anyway, who needs it really?? I think for all intents and purposes it should be something that is strictly rationed and meted out to specific people,specifically those who have earned it! Like immediate family and consistent,loyal and real friends not any old 'friend' ,acquaintance or passing infatuation goddammit! But sometimes we are bamboozled into thinking that caring is deserved and that's what really gets my blood boiling!

The caree comes into your life all effervescent and promising and cool and stuff and then you start to notice some inconsistencies but you dismiss them as foibles, everyone has those so why not our dear caree? And then you start to notice some behaviours that are not quite in line with your behavioural patterns or even to your liking, but you brush that off too and make it your mission to show them the inappropriateness of such behaviour and seemingly the caree acquiesces. But then after an extended period of making bad choices, doing things that you do not agree with something gives and when it does boy is it a MOTHER of a DOWNER! You are rendered speechless, reactionless all the 'lesses' you could possibly think of dance around menacingly in your head and your face looks like someone has just punched you in the stomache with the strength of 10 ninjas!!

And so the 5 stages of grief start;

1. DENIAL- There has to be some sort of mistake and reason behind the action i mean this is so uncharacteristic of Caree, they would never do this knowingly and without a really good explanation. Conscience: Mhmm!!

2. ANGER- What the hell is wrong with Caree they obvioulsy are not thinking straight, how dare they do this to me who has been there for them through all their Fuck ups and Bullshit! Even though others warned me of this, I stood by Caree and gave them chance after chance after bloody chance! That's it I'm done, Caree is on their own now, they'll get no more caring from me! yeses maan, ndi dikiwe! Conscience: - Mhmm kungona udikwayo?! Awu se late!

3. BARGAINING- If only Caree would remove certain people from their life that are a negative influence and dragging them down keeping them from their real friends this wouldn't have happened. Conscience: Really? Caree is a grown ass adult who can make their own decisions, this behaviour is not something that's new it's been there all along, you just chose to ignore it!

4. DEPRESSION- I refuse to care about Caree anymore, I don't really want to care about anything anymore I just want to sit here and have a pity party about the friend I thought I had in Caree, life sucks balls! BIG HAIRY ONES!!! Conscience: *sigh* When you're done u know where to find me

5. ACCEPTANCE- Well, Caree has obviously made their decision quite emphatically and well, this is me accepting that it is their wish for things to be as they are and I accept that i cannot change who Caree is, in as much as they cannot change who I am, I just don't have to stick around for it. I choose to recuse myself from the above mentioned relationship of Caree and Carer. Exit stage left.
Conscience: Maya Angelou did afterall all say " When people show you who they are, believe them, the first time"

I believe.

PEACE & LOVE

Pendulum...

2010-01-20T23:51:00.000-08:00

Say the window was an inky black pool ...

And you jumped straight into it and you found yourself on the other side….

Landing on sharp shards of broken glass and the crimson ooze of blood trickled metallic onto the Sea of shards until the sharp shards of glass started to float in the crimson ooze carrying you along in the sweeping motion

How do you feel….? Sensual..? Powerful…? At Peace…? Anything...? Nothing...?

Uh huh Yep Definitely!

2010-01-18T04:32:00.001-08:00

One of my Favourite songs in the UNIVERSE

2010-01-13T23:29:00.000-08:00

Artist: Zero 7

lyricsAlbum: The Garden

Year: 2006

Title: Today

Sirens sounding out, are we going to war

A film of yesterday on a broken down door

Send me something real to ignore or explore

And I'll show you all the things that I saw

Today

The words don't mean enough for us to say

For us to say

Today

To steal the moment that we gave away

We gave awayGave it away

Can't remember when, but it's happened before

Saw it all played out through a crack in the door

Send me something good for the way that I feel

And I'll show you all the things that I've seen

Today

The words don't mean enough for us to say

For us to saytoday

To steal the moment that we gave away

We gave away

Today

We are the light that travels into space

Into space

We are the light that travels into space

Endings and Beginnings

2010-01-07T23:24:00.001-08:00

During this past festive season and still now i think about how endings are often villified and labelled the enemies of progress and the counter revolutionaries of our present universe and reference. It occurs to me that, as hard a pill to swallow as endings may be at times, they are ultimately making room in our lives for MORE... Think about it, if everything stayed the same all the time, we would never want or recognise the potential to have MORE in our lives and by extension MORE for our future selves...

All it takes is a simple catalyst to end one way of life in favour of a fresh new perspective- the ending of a relationship, going away to university instead of staying at home, the courage to break free of complacency, your declaration of independence and leaving the nest, having the courage to end a friendship that has run its course, turning left when you would usually turn right the list is endless. And yet, how many times have we continued to remain in situations that limited our growth and were toxic but out of familiarity and a sense of comfortability we stayed?

Think about that person that you have in your life and every time their number flashes on your screen your stomache drops and after seeing or speaking to them you feel drained of energy! That, friends, means that you need to END that relationship it has obviously run it's course and is no longer mutually meaningful and fulfilling. Yes you've known each other since high school and they were there when you had your first kiss and wiped your tears after the crushing break up and after matric you promised to be friends forever despite the distance of your respective varsities. But now your conversations no longer comes as easily, you no longer have much in common, you have different friends, you are no longer travelling on the same path and in the same direction, hanging out seems more of a chore and obligation than natural.... I say it again, young coolians, " END that relationship"! Familiarity + Sentiment does not always = Right. Do not hold on to relationships that have reached their sell by date ,rather let them naturally evolve into Endings making way for a fresh Beginning opening you up for new relationships and fulfilling interactions.

In light of this burgeoning year I thought I'd take a look at what may relate to a lot of us young professionals, not quite bright eyed and bushy tailed but still brimming with enthusiasm and thirst for growth. Yet, many of us find ourselves asking the all important, yet hard as hell to make up our minds about question- "Is this job really where i want to be spending 80% of my time which i will never get back...? Am i happy to continue, with the hopes (founded or not) that my plug plug plugging away will be rewarded...?" Well, when you started at your new job you were happy to be there and thought "Wow the universe and i have conspired for me to get here and so here starts the adventure". Is it still an adventure though, do you still bounce out of bed to start the day,do you still have a silly grin on your face when people ask you what you do and proudly announce with great flourish that yours is the best job one could ask for? Do you still think when the work load gets to be a little over whelming that its all worth it because you know that at the end of the inky tunnel lies job satisfaction,appreciation and loyalty that is not one dimensional? For many the answer is a resigned "not really", but yet we stay because well, i suppose better the devil that you know right? No, actually that's just plain old complacency we are too comfortable with the job security,salary and familiar processes that we start to think it would all require much too much effort to start looking elsewhere and we delude ourselves into accepting the existing state of reality. But what we don't realise is that we are entrenching ourselves in a toxic world of comfortable mediocrity when we should be requiring and claiming more of our careers, of ourselves and of our world. Wouldn't you rather be that happy,bouncy and fulfilled person excited about work again?

Well I am not completely impervious to the allure and seductive nature of the familiar and comfortable, it is after all a scary place that out of the comfort zone wilderness and who in their right minds would venture out there willingly and without putting up an earnest fight?! So, resist and fight if you must, but know this- it might be better for you to conserve that energy for the exciting times ahead in the out of the comfort zone wilderness! Just a suggestion... However if you prefer to remain in your semi-comatose and somnombulent state of not craving MORE that too is your universal right.

Although I wouldn't recommend it.

Peace & Love

Alrighty then earth beings...

2010-01-04T23:55:00.000-08:00

Festive greetings cosmic creatures!

The New Year we've all been anticipating somewhat restlessly is upon us and well...i hope it is as you anticipated! I rung in the New Year with my 2 favourite earthlings in a very middle of the road little city albeit a less than earth shattering ringing in it was,the company more than made up for that!

I have never been one to worry myself with New Years resolutions and suchlike and often prefer to 'wing it' as you earth beings would say. Never having been one to commit to anything,lest I unceremoniously change my mind (as is often the way of this here creature of the universe),I would rather not build up hopes only to unwittingly dash them. Yeah i know it's a bit of a long winded cop out but hey, at least I tried to provide some sort of mildly reasonable justification at least in my head it makes sense

So let us look to the future of unchartered territories, unconquered challenges and unwritten chapters as a most thrilling adventure to be experienced and maximised.

All i can promise and commit to (yep,I'm putting it out there into the universe) for the many universal pages ahead, is a Life lived LIGHT... :-)

PEACE & LOVE

This is Super cool boys and girls check it out!

2009-12-14T06:08:00.000-08:00

PORTRAITS OF POWER

http://viigo.im/1IM5

Jingle Bells really??

2009-12-14T00:53:00.000-08:00

So Christmas is allegedly here and I'm told we are supposedly in the throes of 'Festive Cheer' and 'Season's Greetings'...umm...no, not so much... Even those schmaltzy Christmas e-cards from colleagues and clients are not enough to convince me of it!

Not even the rather scant decorations at all the shopping malls and Santa Claus laden adverts on television are doing the trick! I just don't believe the Christmas cheer churning machine manned (perhaps the politically correct term here would be 'elved') by a determined band of North Pole dwelling elves promising Presents, Christmas Carolers and plenty of mistletoe.

Perhaps as we get closer to Christmas Eve my Christmas Cheer might make a cameo appearance if only for the flurry of family crowding into the kitchen busily making Christmassy delights like turkey, leg of lamb, roasted potatoes, 3bean salad,savoury rice, fridge cake(my speciality- you'll get no modesty here) and the ever present steamed pudding and custard.

Either way it's going to be an interesting couple of weeks leading to Christmas as I search for my elusive CC( Christmas Cheer) that seems to be enjoying playing this catch me if you can game with me. To my encouragement though, I do feel that the force is strong within me and I have more than a snowball's chance in an inferno, of apprehending my fugitive CC!

Onwards and upwards!

This is something I wrote a while back but i still think has some relevance...

2009-12-14T00:37:00.000-08:00

South Africa as We know it

And so we emerge in the murky clarity of a new day, we have not seen the country collapse over night in fact we wake up and as we drive in our little double exhaust cars, we glance wistfully at the headline that Reads “Zuma wins it!” We still however carry on driving as we walk unsure of the potential day that lies ahead of us, will we now make our coffee a little differently as we prepare to start the day at the office? Will we now no longer say “Good morning, how are you?” to our colleagues but rather a curt “Morning” as we make our way toward our office?

The headline still remains the same as you drive in your car to make a bank deposit at the bank at lunch time before you grab your daily sandwich at your favourite Bread Box. “Zuma wins it!” Do you buy the paper with the somewhat gloating headline of the man being hailed as the only man who can bring back unity to the now factional Congress? Well, do you…? What does this mean for you as a South African citizen of no political affiliation, but are still a productive contributing law abiding citizen of the Republic? You may not participate actively in politics, but every 5 years the political campaigners dust off their manifestos and clear the moth balls from their jeans to hit the South African landscape in search of you and your loyalty.

So again what does this mean for you when you look at the Markets and they seem to be affected by the headline, so it must affect you too right? However the sun is still playing hide and seek with the summer rain clouds the same way it has been for the last three years around this time of the year so how can this headline possibly make a difference in your life as you know it when something as natural as the weather still remains as it always had.

It’s 5pm back in your car again, taking the way you always take to get home and as usual it’s a different guy at the intersection selling the same newspaper with the same headline that reads “Zuma wins it!”. Everything is exactly as it always was, your routine drive home, your cursory glance at the day’s headlines as you always do at the intersection yet, there’s something about that headline that suggests that perhaps, there may be a possibility that things may not actually be exactly as they were yesterday, just perhaps…

Fun In My Brain

2009-12-14T00:33:00.000-08:00

The Spectacular Inbetweener

2009-12-14T00:22:00.000-08:00

The spectacular in betweener……..Never in a complete state of certainty or specificity
Always here but just as much there and anywhere else you can dream or think of please look at me, in me, through me, in between the matter and emotions and bright laughter.

Challenge what you see and watch it stubbornly melt away and become even more enchanting than what it was in between the smile and lightness

Listen to the melodic cacophony of contradiction and anxious jesting.This is not it, IT, IT, IT………How can it be, when the perfect in betweener resides slovenly and intricately on marshmallow white realities tempered by linear inclinations..

Ok so here I am in the Blogosphere...yes i said Blogosphere!

2009-12-14T00:07:00.000-08:00

Hello all

So this came about as a result of an early morning (1am) conversation with some friends and i have to admit at first i was like..'hmm...really?' but here I am!

The purpose of this is to share with...well, the universe the myriad of thoughts and just general ramblings that pass through this more porous than not mind of mine with the view of sparking your own thoughts,ideas and viewpoints...

Ok then citizens to the Blogosphere we go...